Thursday, June 3, 2010

8 weeks post-op

So I'm at 8 weeks post-op. I managed to get to 115 degrees of flexion today, which is an increase of 10 from last week. My workouts have been getting increasingly harder, with my PT testing my flexibility, strength, balance, stability, everything. When I'm finished, I feel like I've run 6 miles. I'm sweaty, exhausted, and feel like collapsing. But it's the best part of my day.

I've been in therapy for 5 weeks now. I love having someone tell me what exercises to do, watching my form, and pushing me to work harder. I think once I'm done with therapy I might get a personal trainer twice a week to help me get back into real shape. I don't think my leg will be back to normal right away after therapy, and I enjoy working out with someone.

Hopefully only a few more weeks. Or months.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

6 Weeks!

I finally got to lose the crutches. I had my 6 weeks post-op checkup with my doctor yesterday. He said that I am exactly where I should be. I have a little more than 90 degrees of flexion, although most of my muscle strength is non-existent. I can finally drop the crutches, and my brace is allowed to bend to 70 degrees (it has hinges on the side). This allows me to practice walking without my knee giving out and me falling on my face.

Therapy is going really well too. My toughest workout is seemingly the easiest. I have to flex my quad, which pushes the back of my knee into the ground. My therapist puts a blood pressure cuff slightly pumped up below my knee. I then push down and flex, and hold for 10 seconds at about 60 pounds, and I do that 20-30 times. The idea is to get my heel off the ground while doing that. ITS SO FREAKING HARD. And it's my goal.

Anyways, I'm getting better.

Friday, May 7, 2010

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

I'm feeling better. The inactivity gets to me, but I'm trying to deal with it. That's one of the worst parts about this... the boredom. I'm just going to have to get creative and figure out what I can do by myself that involves my leg being propped up. I shouldn't have to rely on other people for my happiness because I should be able to take care of myself. I'm used to being independent, and I want to continue being that way. I just can't carry things... and stairs are an obstacle :)

Therapy went well on Tuesday. I was able to do all of my exercises, and managed to get to 80 degrees of flexion. Thursday did not go so well. I should be with one therapist, and I was with a tech. He's my friend and I like him, but I needed someone with way more experience. After a few exercises, I was in tears, which is NOT good. After my therapist came over an evaluated what was going on, he told me that I'm on my feet too much. So I have to rest more.

It's better that I'm not going out or being active right now for the health of my knee. I don't need to aggravate anything or risk tendonitis.

Again, I'm feeling better. It was a down point, hopefully now will be more of an up.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

I'm not going to lie, I've been pretty bummed

When I would get sad or upset about anything going on, I would go for a run, workout or something. I'm pretty limited in what I can do now, so the depression builds and builds and has no where to go. And this weekend hasn't helped. It's musicfest, I can't enjoy it. And my friends get so drunk at night that they forget or don't care to call me. Makes me feel pretty shitty and alone.

On a positive note, I start physical therapy. I'm at 70 degrees of flexion, but I have no strength on my left leg. I can't lift my leg straight up without the immobilizer on. And there is no muscle to flex. In three weeks I will hopefully regain some muscle and get to 90 degrees of flexion.

I'll be at therapy twice a week... I'll have updates after that. I really miss being active. I've been reading facebook updates of those who ran at the Flying Pig. I'm jealous of you all, but my ultimate goal is to run the full Flying Pig one year from now. I'm going to work hard to get there... Just need to regain muscle function by then.


Monday, April 19, 2010

I hope this makes me more informed and not sound elitist

I'm reading Food, Inc, and it is fascinating. I recommend it, not just to scare you into eating healthy, but to become informed, or at least more conscious. Other books to consider are The Omnivore's Dilemma, The Organic Manifesto, and Fast Food Nation. I'm hoping that putting these theories into practice now might translate into healthier decision later in life for myself and my family.

Check out these websites:
www.eatwellguide.org - farms, stores, or restaurant near us
www.ams.usda.gov/farmersmarkets/map.htm - farmers markets
www.sustainabletable.org/shop/questions - questions to ask a farmer
www.foodandwaterwatch.org - labeling fact sheet

Lack of mobility adds to weight gain... boooo

So I'm trying to change how and what I eat. Since I'm immobile/have limited mobility, I have to be very careful with what I eat. I'm not naturally skinny and I don't have a fast metabolism... without cardio it slows to a crawl. I talked to my cubicle neighbor and mimic a challenge he's doing; the paleolithic challenge.

I guess the theory (or hypothesis) is that we (humans) have changed our diets faster than we have evolved. Therefore, the foods that we eat can make us sick, contribute to allergies and could possibly even cause some diseases. Not to mention, we are primarily one of the only animals that drinks and seeks out another animal's milk, and drinks milk past infancy. It's a quick a easy way to get calcium, and most don't like the alternative methods of getting that nutrient (spinach, beans, oranges, soy products).

I'm not patient enough, nor do I possess the will power to give up all yummy foods. But I'm going to try to significantly cut back on breads, pastas, cheese, milk, sugar/corn syrup products, and processed foods. I'll add cheat days from time to time, but hopefully that will help diminish the carb roll I've got going on below my belly button. Plus I'll track my meals on this blog (posted weekly) and try to determine weight loss (it's tough to weigh myself when i can't fully weight bear). Also, this may help my health and add energy.

Here are me plans to achieve my goal:
1. Switch to soy milk (for cereals, coffee and drinking)
2. Eat more servings of veggies, fruits, meat and fish
3. Cut out cheese (tear... I love cheese), milk, and other dairy products. Start out slow, cutting back gradually
4. Snack on dried fruits and veggies
5. Eat more organic meats and organic veggies... Farmers' market is back and I'm excited!
6. Pay attention to my portions
7. Eat small meals more often
8. Keep a food log
9. Cut back drinking to once a week

The knee does better every day. I went to the hot wing festival on Saturday and had a great time. I think I'm going to try to invent a crutch cup holder though... that was a pain. I had to have my friends hold my cup every time I moved. I was exhausted by the end of the day and went home and stayed home that night, it was still nice to get out.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pictures



Pics of the knee. Notice that my thigh and knee are the same size. Four incisions in all, and they hurt every time I stand up. And when I don't wear my brace, it feels incredibly bizarre, and somewhat painful... Like my knee feels loose, but shouldn't bend.

Two more weeks, and then I will have some answers about therapy.

Just because I sit at my desk all day doesn't mean that I'm not hurting

Today was my first time back at work. My dad helped me out by bringing a stool, pillow, and then left. He packed up and took off around 10 a.m. for St. Louis. Swung by before he left, and I cried. I hate being emotional at work, but I'm a yellow personality and I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I love my dad so freaking much, and it broke my heart to see him go.

I was uncomfortable all day. I'm not used to sitting upright in a chair like that all day, and my leg was never comfortable. I can't drink coffee because I don't have the ability to make it (carry a kettle of water back to my desk) and I can't carry a full coffee cup (crutches). Also makes for getting water difficult (I have a water bottle with a strap I can wrap around my hand), making food, or cleaning dishes. I hate feeling this freaking helpless, and I don't want to ask anyone for help.

So, I am incredibly limited in what I can wear to work. Dress is business professional, but the only thing I honestly feel comfortable in is gym shorts. My brace is so large that pants won't fit over them. So I'm stuck with skirts and dresses. Since I prop my leg up at work, it's not very flattering. I have to invest in some leggings I suppose.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

One week post op

I can't believe it's already been a week since my surgery. I've had up days and down days... today was an up.

On the down days, it feels like there is a ton of pressure around my knee and the incisions. It feels really heavy, and burns. Those are the times when I'm close to tears. On the good days, I have little pain or burning, and I have a little more energy.

I ran out of percocets today, so that was a little depressing. I saw Dr. Azar instead of Dr. Phillips since he wasn't in. Serian, my PT, saw my first, unwrapped my bandages and replaced my steri strips. He said my incision were healing really nicely, and I didn't have too much bruising for the type of surgery I had. So some good news. I have a follow up appointment with Dr. Phillips in two weeks, and then I start my physical therapy.

I'll have pics of the the incisions up soon... Four total.

The most depressing part about this is the inactivity... I know I'm being shallow, but I can feel myself losing muscle and gaining fat pockets in all the wrong places... like my tummy. I'm going to give it another week of healing and then I'm going to talk to Serian or Wyatt about any strength exercises I can do at home to gain a summer body back. Again, I know its shallow but I like taking pride in working out and feeling good about myself.

I go back to work tomorrow, and my dad leaves. The best part of my surgery was spending time with my dad. I miss my parents, and getting just either my mom or dad would have been great. I love my dad, and I really don't want him to leave... makes me miss Ohio and feel homesick even more. I am so grateful to have wonderful parents in my life

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Third and Fourth Day of Post p

I've had some major accomplishments in the last couple of days.

Friday
1. I showered. Gross, I know, but this was major. I can hardly stand to be on my feet for more than a few minutes, so showering was awesome. Plus it made me feel normal, and well, clean. However, I failed miserably at taping the garbage bag around my immobilizer, so my dad and I had to peel my bandages off and let them dry. I hope everything stayed clean because my biggest fear is infection.

2. I went to the grocery store. I rode around in those scooters, which was actually pretty awesome.

3. Went to the bar. Had two drinks and then I was wore out. No worries, didn't mix the pain meds and the alcohol... Last thing I need is another trip to the hospital.

Saturday
Although the pain in my knee was pretty bad in the morning (probably over did it yesterday) I still felt alright after a dose of pain meds.
1. Went to my girls' lacrosse game. I coach Briarcrest, and it was great to see them play.

2. Grocery store. Except my dad and I went to Costco. There was no scooter. But I did see a 16 year old girl riding on one... no cast, brace, even had her right leg tucked up. I'm assuming she didn't need it. If she did, well then I apologize for giving her the death glare. But if she didn't I'm praying to the gods that she wraps her car around a pole and breaks her femur. She saw me walk in on crutches look for a scooter, and then drove away.

People drive me crazy. I was exhausted, and my pain meds were wearing off by that point. The last thing I needed to see was some kid who was capable of walking messing around on something that a handicapped person needed.

Pain levels are getting better... most of it is around the incision areas.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Day 2 Post Op

I cannot stand inactivity. The pain isn't as bad today, but I think it's because I prepare myself for what I'm about to feel every time I move. My dad has been amazing. I am so blessed to have him here. I know my mom would have jumped at the chance to come down here and stay with me as well, but I understand she didn't have the same opportunity as my dad. I am still very lucky to have the family that I have in my life.

Not to mention my friends. Lady sidekick knows what I'm going through since she had ACL repair a while ago. She and her mom got me flowers... I am lucky to be living with such a considerate person.

I miss being to go outside... I can't wait until I can do that.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Words cannot explain

According to my PT, this is the top most painful surgeries (leg?) to have... MPFL replacement (mine), Quad tendon repair, and posterior tibial corner reconstruction. Maybe I should have just left my knee the way it was...

Seriously, I cried when I got up to go to the bathroom. Now I'm afraid of getting kidney stones because I'm too afraid to get up. Gross, I know, sorry. It's the truth. My pain medication isn't even doing anything anymore. I'm afraid to take too much and end up... well... dead.

I hope this is worth it. I guess I'll know in... 6 months.

Shit. If someone would like to smother me with a pillow tonight, I wouldn't be opposed to it.

The day after

This is definitely the most unpleasant thing I have ever had done. I feel helpless, sore and uncomfortable. But I guess the surgery went well. I'm blessed to have my father here to take care of me... he's pretty great.

My initial experience wasn't that great. They told me to get there at 5:30 am, but then informed me that I would be Dr.Phillips second patient. I didn't bring any book or magazine, so I asked if I could leave to go get one. The receptionist told me no. Petty, I get it, but it was still frustrating. Seriously, a Walgreen's was across the street.

I tried to be friendly, but I think the people just assumed I was dumb. I'd ask a question about something they were doing or giving to me, and they acted like it was a big fucking inconvenience to them. I asked what brand of screws they put in me, and they kept telling me bio-absorbent. Yeah I get it, tell me what company makes them. They seemed surprised I would ask that. Why wouldn't I want to know who makes them? Good god, just give me an answer.

The anesthesiologist gave me a femoral nerve block, which makes it so I can't feel my whole left leg. Its worked up until today. I guess the percocet will help with that.

Time to take one an doze. I'll more updates later.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The day has come

The time has come. Tomorrow is my surgery date.

It amazes me how quickly I've recovered since I dislocated my knee cap the third time. I'm walking, in heels no less. Not quite to running, but I think I'd be able to handle it. I know this is a necessary evil though, because I can feel the pain in my knee when I go down stairs, and the instability when I get up to quickly from a chair or turn a corner.

I already have some complaints about the surgery. How clinics and hospitals operate is pretty terrible. Working in the medical device industry I know that companies and healthcare facilities will milk a patient for all they are worth. I mean, I guess I can't blame them... it is a business. I just hate being screwed when I feel so helpless.

Apparently its become a common practice to estimate how much a patient will owe on the front end. So although they haven't billed my insurance or submitted a claim, they are asking me for over $1000 before I walk into the clinic and I'm on the table. I understand wanting to collect the money... I have no problem paying what I'm supposed to pay. I just dislike them guessing. Especially telling me the day before surgery... as if normal people have $400 laying around to take care of a surgical center's costs. When I told the lady that my surgery had been scheduled for over a month and asked her why she didn't give me this information before, she informed me that this was a courtesy call. I informed her that it wasn't rather not courteous at all, and was more stressful considering I was having surgery THE NEXT F-ING DAY. F them. I hope the health care bill screws them.

My recommendation is:
1. Get your surgery video taped. If something goes wrong, YOU NEED PROOF. Also, it might help in billing.
2. Read EVERY single bill and make sure no one is screwing with you
3. If you are scheduled for surgery, call the surgical center and the physician's office and ask for estimates on how much you will owe... it's better to plan then get a surprise phone call day before. Also, you can shop around for a better price and maybe better physician. In even a different state.
4. Get a second opinion.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Surgery Date is set

My surgery date is set for April 6. It'll be right after I go to Toledo (Easter weekend with the family). My doctor looked at my MRI and started going on about how everything looks good, no cartilage knocked off or bone broken... just a little bruised bone. I was a little confused because he didn't say anything about the ligament, so I asked him if it was ok. He replied, oh no, no that's gone. So I'm getting it replaced with my hamstring.

I need one week off of work, and I can start weight bearing almost immediately. I'm pretty relieved. This might not be as bad I thought it would be.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The back story behind my knee problems

So to start, I noticed that isn't much information or forums about medial patellofemoral ligament replacement surgery, so I decided that I would use this to talk about my experience. I'll probably include adventures with Lady Sidekick in Memphis, but since knee surgery is very soon and will lay me out for awhile, those adventures would be limited.


The Back Story (I apologize, it's long, but it's a year and half worth of events):
I have been an athlete my entire life. I played soccer for 18 years, lacrosse, flag football, volleyball, softball, etc. So when I was asked to play on a kickball team within the first month of moving to Memphis in 2008, naturally I said yes. Kickball, adult league at that... what could go wrong?

One month in, October 15 to be exact, I was playing second base. Ball was kicked to third, so I tapped the base and stretched out to catch the throw from my teammate. The girl on the other team from first base ran, slid, and landed in my left shin. That was enough force to dislocate my kneecap. My dad taught me well in the art of swearing, and that I did. ALOT. Because it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. Luckily, I guess, my kneecap popped back in immediately. So my teammates gathered, carried me to the bench, offered to take me to the hospital, i declined, and sat the rest of the game in awful awful pain. Someone drove me home, and I fell asleep on the couch. I even called my boss while still crying to let him know I probably wouldn't be in the next day.

Fortunately, my boss' mother in law worked at Campbell Clinic, and got me an appointment the next morning with Dr. Phillips. I had no crutches and at the time lived by myself, so I drove 30 minutes, limped in, and basically was told what I already knew... patella subluxation.

I was in a leg immobilizer for two weeks with toe touch only, and then 5 weeks of physical therapy. I was fortunate enough to be with a couple really awesome PT's, and I'm still friendly with them (which has been helpful in my later story). It was hard, but i regained full motion, gained a crap ton of weight, and lost muscle mass in my left leg. I was not feeling my best that winter.

I managed to start weight lifting, got back to running, and even ran a half marathon at the end of April. I thought I had recovered. I even returned to kickball and played as long as I didn't have to play a base... no more people sliding at me. So I played shortstop. May 13, I had an awesome game, caught everything in my realm. And then the ball was kicked on the ground, I ran and picked it up, planted my left foot and turned to throw it to first, and my knee cap popped out again. While I was wearing a knee brace. Major suck. So a lot of swearing commenced, but not before my entire team started laughing at me because they thought I tripped. Until they saw me rolling around on the ground.

So I went back to the doctor, recovered quicker, and did my own therapy. No running for six months, worked out my legs, rode my bicycle more often. Started running again in October. I was doing pretty well, and had a pretty consistent routine. Even got brave enough to play volleyball, wrapping my knee so tight I couldn't bend it. I was running more often to amp up my weight loss. Even got Lady Sidekick to join the gym.

Lady Sidekick told me about Flogging Molly coming to Memphis. I got super excited because its been a long time since I went to a show. Also happened to be the same weekend that my parents came to visit. This was February 12. We got dressed up, went to the show, and danced and had a great time. Then I decided that the people around me were lame, and I needed to get closer to the front where the "mosh pit" was. Ok, I have been in mosh pits. Dropkick Murphys, Pennywise, Less Than Jake, Suicide Machines, Rise Against. This was the lamest excuse for a mosh pit. So i started dancing in it, had a great time, until some 16 year old lightly jumped into me, and BAM... knee cap slipped out again.

To recap, I first dislocated Oct 15, then May 13, then Feb 12. 7 months and 9 months in between. Saw my doctor last Friday, February 19 and this is when I was told... surgery.

So that's the story. I dislocated my kneecap in some pretty stupid ways. My followup consult is this Friday, so I'll know more details then. I'm tried of not being active or being able to even do normal activities. It's not a common surgery and I'm pretty nervous, especially for the recovery and losing the muscle mass I've gained, but it is what it is.

...to be continued.