6 Weeks!

I finally got to lose the crutches. I had my 6 weeks post-op checkup with my doctor yesterday. He said that I am exactly where I should be. I have a little more than 90 degrees of flexion, although most of my muscle strength is non-existent. I can finally drop the crutches, and my brace is allowed to bend to 70 degrees (it has hinges on the side). This allows me to practice walking without my knee giving out and me falling on my face.

Therapy is going really well too. My toughest workout is seemingly the easiest. I have to flex my quad, which pushes the back of my knee into the ground. My therapist puts a blood pressure cuff slightly pumped up below my knee. I then push down and flex, and hold for 10 seconds at about 60 pounds, and I do that 20-30 times. The idea is to get my heel off the ground while doing that. ITS SO FREAKING HARD. And it's my goal.

Anyways, I'm getting better.

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

I'm feeling better. The inactivity gets to me, but I'm trying to deal with it. That's one of the worst parts about this... the boredom. I'm just going to have to get creative and figure out what I can do by myself that involves my leg being propped up. I shouldn't have to rely on other people for my happiness because I should be able to take care of myself. I'm used to being independent, and I want to continue being that way. I just can't carry things... and stairs are an obstacle :)

Therapy went well on Tuesday. I was able to do all of my exercises, and managed to get to 80 degrees of flexion. Thursday did not go so well. I should be with one therapist, and I was with a tech. He's my friend and I like him, but I needed someone with way more experience. After a few exercises, I was in tears, which is NOT good. After my therapist came over an evaluated what was going on, he told me that I'm on my feet too much. So I have to rest more.

It's better that I'm not going out or being active right now for the health of my knee. I don't need to aggravate anything or risk tendonitis.

Again, I'm feeling better. It was a down point, hopefully now will be more of an up.

I'm not going to lie, I've been pretty bummed

When I would get sad or upset about anything going on, I would go for a run, workout or something. I'm pretty limited in what I can do now, so the depression builds and builds and has no where to go. And this weekend hasn't helped. It's musicfest, I can't enjoy it. And my friends get so drunk at night that they forget or don't care to call me. Makes me feel pretty shitty and alone.

On a positive note, I start physical therapy. I'm at 70 degrees of flexion, but I have no strength on my left leg. I can't lift my leg straight up without the immobilizer on. And there is no muscle to flex. In three weeks I will hopefully regain some muscle and get to 90 degrees of flexion.

I'll be at therapy twice a week... I'll have updates after that. I really miss being active. I've been reading facebook updates of those who ran at the Flying Pig. I'm jealous of you all, but my ultimate goal is to run the full Flying Pig one year from now. I'm going to work hard to get there... Just need to regain muscle function by then.

I hope this makes me more informed and not sound elitist

I'm reading Food, Inc, and it is fascinating. I recommend it, not just to scare you into eating healthy, but to become informed, or at least more conscious. Other books to consider are The Omnivore's Dilemma, The Organic Manifesto, and Fast Food Nation. I'm hoping that putting these theories into practice now might translate into healthier decision later in life for myself and my family.

Check out these websites:
www.eatwellguide.org - farms, stores, or restaurant near us
www.ams.usda.gov/farmersmarkets/map.htm - farmers markets
www.sustainabletable.org/shop/questions - questions to ask a farmer
www.foodandwaterwatch.org - labeling fact sheet

Lack of mobility adds to weight gain... boooo

So I'm trying to change how and what I eat. Since I'm immobile/have limited mobility, I have to be very careful with what I eat. I'm not naturally skinny and I don't have a fast metabolism... without cardio it slows to a crawl. I talked to my cubicle neighbor and mimic a challenge he's doing; the paleolithic challenge.

I guess the theory (or hypothesis) is that we (humans) have changed our diets faster than we have evolved. Therefore, the foods that we eat can make us sick, contribute to allergies and could possibly even cause some diseases. Not to mention, we are primarily one of the only animals that drinks and seeks out another animal's milk, and drinks milk past infancy. It's a quick a easy way to get calcium, and most don't like the alternative methods of getting that nutrient (spinach, beans, oranges, soy products).

I'm not patient enough, nor do I possess the will power to give up all yummy foods. But I'm going to try to significantly cut back on breads, pastas, cheese, milk, sugar/corn syrup products, and processed foods. I'll add cheat days from time to time, but hopefully that will help diminish the carb roll I've got going on below my belly button. Plus I'll track my meals on this blog (posted weekly) and try to determine weight loss (it's tough to weigh myself when i can't fully weight bear). Also, this may help my health and add energy.

Here are me plans to achieve my goal:
1. Switch to soy milk (for cereals, coffee and drinking)
2. Eat more servings of veggies, fruits, meat and fish
3. Cut out cheese (tear... I love cheese), milk, and other dairy products. Start out slow, cutting back gradually
4. Snack on dried fruits and veggies
5. Eat more organic meats and organic veggies... Farmers' market is back and I'm excited!
6. Pay attention to my portions
7. Eat small meals more often
8. Keep a food log
9. Cut back drinking to once a week

The knee does better every day. I went to the hot wing festival on Saturday and had a great time. I think I'm going to try to invent a crutch cup holder though... that was a pain. I had to have my friends hold my cup every time I moved. I was exhausted by the end of the day and went home and stayed home that night, it was still nice to get out.

Pictures

Pics of the knee. Notice that my thigh and knee are the same size. Four incisions in all, and they hurt every time I stand up. And when I don't wear my brace, it feels incredibly bizarre, and somewhat painful... Like my knee feels loose, but shouldn't bend.

Two more weeks, and then I will have some answers about therapy.

Just because I sit at my desk all day doesn't mean that I'm not hurting

Today was my first time back at work. My dad helped me out by bringing a stool, pillow, and then left. He packed up and took off around 10 a.m. for St. Louis. Swung by before he left, and I cried. I hate being emotional at work, but I'm a yellow personality and I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I love my dad so freaking much, and it broke my heart to see him go.

I was uncomfortable all day. I'm not used to sitting upright in a chair like that all day, and my leg was never comfortable. I can't drink coffee because I don't have the ability to make it (carry a kettle of water back to my desk) and I can't carry a full coffee cup (crutches). Also makes for getting water difficult (I have a water bottle with a strap I can wrap around my hand), making food, or cleaning dishes. I hate feeling this freaking helpless, and I don't want to ask anyone for help.

So, I am incredibly limited in what I can wear to work. Dress is business professional, but the only thing I honestly feel comfortable in is gym shorts. My brace is so large that pants won't fit over them. So I'm stuck with skirts and dresses. Since I prop my leg up at work, it's not very flattering. I have to invest in some leggings I suppose.